Thursday, May 22, 2008

Something To Work On

Yesterday at work I actually had a guy pull me aside and whisper to me "You're beautiful." I'm pretty sure I probably blushed. I said thank you and continued on with what I was doing. When I walked by again he stopped me again. This time to ask me if I was married and if he could get my phone number. I was more than a little caught off guard. But I thought it was kinda funny and I apologized and said no. When you work at a pharmacy, that's the last place you want to pick up a guy. It's like picking someone up at a mental hospital (and I know someone who's done that)!

Anyway, this was the first time a guy has actually hit on me since I've started going to boot camp. I'll give boot camp all the credit. I feel better and I've been told by several people I look good. This is what I need to work on. I've still got a long way to go but people are starting to notice that I'm losing weight and I'm finding the compliments, while very nice, a little strange. It's not that I can't take a compliment. I genuinely say thank you to anyone who mentions the change. I am truly happy that someone has noticed. But after years of telling myself all the bad things about me, I'm finding it hard to hear some good things from other people. I'm not one of those people who can stand in front of the mirror and go "I'm beautiful no matter what" sort of things. I'm trying hard to change the habit of putting myself down. And in the area of actually looking better I'm doing ok. There are definitely other areas that I still need to work on. Relationships for one. More specifically, believing that 1) there might actually be someone out there who would want to be in a relationship with me, 2) I deserve better than what I've had in the past, and 3) someone out there will actually like me for me and not want to change who I am. Yep, those one's still need a lot of work. Do you think there's a boot camp for that?

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